You can't Pee on a fire!

2002-
Few of you know I was actually on a ……… what would you call us? Drill team/ dance team/ performing arts……… well anyways I was a prancing, flag twirling, stuck up biotch. :) So on our trip to perform in the finals in Wisconsin we decided to stay in the Hilton ( insert oo’s and ah’s here). After a dreadful day of sitting in the stadium all damn day, losing my favorite hoodie, and several repeated lectures of “lets not repeat the Las Vegas disaster” we were finally able to go back to the hotel and crash THANK YOU!!!!! So we go on up to our floor and basically run wild for a few hours high on the power of no chaperones. So after we all go to bed at about 2am and then low and behold 3:45 I wake up to the weirdest noise. Now the first thought I have is who the hell is talking that loud in the hall at 4am? So I stumble over to the door and rip it open to give the stink eye to some inconsiderate pip and there is no one there. Ok WTF…… The loud speaker goes off above my head “Once again we need to evacuate the hotel due to fire hazards, Please move to the closest exit available, remember to use the stairs and please walk DO NOT run. Thank you” HEY ASS HOLES WHERES THE ALARM?!?!!?? So as I turn back into the room of 5 of my close friends who are all sleeping and completely clueless, I have a moment of hesitation, I hate to wake people up. So I muster up my courage and say “UHHHH Hey guys………. We need to get out the hotel is on fire.” Holy Hell you would think I set THEM on fire, Panic ensues. 5 girls jump up screaming trying to grab any crap they can before they hall ass out of the room. (Internal dialogue) hmmm…….. what was I doing? Oh yeah… I needed to Pee……. Maybe I should grab my purse…. No I need to pee I will grab it when I am done.
So I go into the bathroom and prepare myself for relief I hear a frantic knocking on the door as my friends start to freak out, all I can hear is “What are you doing?! Are you Crazy?! You can’t pee on a fire!” **Eyeroll, you gotta go when you gotta go** so I finish, wash my hands (personal hygiene is important people) and open the door to the slack jaw’ed shocked faces of my friends and say “well lets go!” Oh yes my purse, luckily my friend had my purse in hand and was chomping at the bit to haul ass out’a there. So here we are, a bunch of high school aged kids huddeled in the masses outside and half asleep staring up at the dumbass’es staring out the window at us like what are you doing?! Hello, the hotel is on fire kids So a couple hours later and a sweep of the hotel and turns out some Jack ass with a space heater put his pillow and blankets a little to close before going to bed.
Moral of the story here is: Who the hell brings a space heater to the Hilton?!?!?!?!