Monday, January 18, 2010

Scary movie+lots of liquid = sad potty time

So............ Scary movies about people getting offed in a public restroom does do damage to an adult. To say I am OCD when it comes to my stall doesn't cover it. After going to dinner before the movie and slurping a soda to wash down the fries I think maybe not the brightest idea but i should be fine if i stop now. Ok so auto pilot kicks in at the theater, its buy the tickets, snack line, choose seat. well before I know it we have the tickets and i have a gallon size soda in hand. Now this is dangerous area because it is still a bit before the movie starts and if i am careful and use the ladies room now and don't slurp this monster down i should make it threw without a potty break. So low and behold I run into some gal pals in the lobby and as i am chattin it up with S,V, and K all of the sudden i notice this bad boy is more than half gone..... oops.

So I hit the stall before the movie and there are a few girls in there so i dont have to worry about being shot down or getting my guts ripped out to be found dead the next day.

Movie: Was actually o.k. I liked it even with the blood and death and body explosion to paint the windows and walls red........ I will admit to crying once but it was only one little sad panda tear and i covered it up well I think.

NOW comes the problem. I finished the remainder half of my soda in the show and although I emptied the dinner soda out before the movie started I now had the whole other movie gallon just a sittin and not sittin well might I add. So credits start rolling and I hit the ladies room like it is home base in a game of tag...... Let the game begin. *Scan under all stalls to make sure no feet are here. * Stop and be as quiet as possible to detect breathing of anyTHING else or any other tale tale noises for those that don't breath. * check overhead lighting for a well lit stall. * make sure to push stall door open completely to make sure no one is hanging from the back of the stall door on either side. * check for adequate TP and seat covers before entering stall of choice. Think the game is over oh no no no! After *place back firmly on stall door to flush with foot while covering ears because the noise is so so so loud. *stand in stall until bathroom is completely quiet and again listen for breathing or other noises. *open stall door and run like hell to the sink area (mirrors give complete view of something sneaking up behind you). *Finally wash hands while watching your back and then keeping back to the wall to edge to the door and back out of the room.

I am one of the ones that always gets asked why I take so long in the bathroom.........

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