You’re so vain… I bet you think this Blog is about you.

Bridalplasty………….. Has anyone else seen this show? I will admit that I am vain. I wish my teeth were whiter, I wish my boobs were bigger, I wish, I wish, I wish…… But these girls….. They take it to a whole new level.

This group of soon to be brides are competing to be the perfect bride. Mini challenges make it possible for them to get the chance to nip this, tuck that, remove that, lift those and so on. Now I have to say it is interesting to see these girls all bandaged up from a nose job that has given them two black eyes trying to compete in a taste test to determine who wins the chance to have the next procedure.

I am not here to judge….. My opinion is my own and I am sure you all have your own as well……. The only thing that I am curious about is what will the fiancé think of the after effect?

Books hurt...

I love to get comfortable to read a book….. I don’t really care where I am. So…..
OPEN SCENE: Picture me, laid out in an arm chair one leg tossed up over the arm, swinging my foot, book propped up on my lap curled sideways and loving life. The smell of coffee in the background, some soft elevator music plays off behind me somewhere and the sound of people talking a few rows over…. That’s right. I am reading a book in the book store.
So here I am minding my own business readin a book relaxing and wasting some time when all of the sudden this giant shadow falls across my book and the light has gotten dim. I recline my head back to look up above me and what do I see? The back of a book……. Um. Hello! Personal space man. I reach up with one hand and tap the back of the book. (Not one of my brighter moves) Apparently I surprised the reader so much that he drops the book right on my face. WHAT THE HELL!!! Ouch!
So the tallest man I have ever seen is looking at me like I am the crazy one here as I hold my face and glare up at him from my once comfy spot. This guy has got to be at least 7 feet tall. No wonder he didn’t see me, 1 inch shorter and he would have been able to step OVER me no problem. So I hand him back his book with a dirty look and say ‘Drop something?” So he takes the book and walks away, never says one word to me. What a douche……
Ladies and Gentlemen…… Mr. Mehmet Okur #13 of our Utah Jazz ( he is indeed 7 feet tall).

Freedom!!!!!!!!!

There is nothing like the feeling of living on your own and the freedom of knowing this place is yours and you live alone so you can do whatever you want to in the comfort of your own home. Walking naked from the bathroom to the bedroom makes you giggle because it seems just a little wrong, you can leave the dishes in the sink, you can drop your dirty clothes on the floor and leave them there and if you don’t want to make your bed you don’t have to. J

That being said, I was kicked back last night watching my Law and Order Special Victims unit Marathon on TV when I decided to be an adult and go to bed at a decent hour. So after they caught the bad guy rapist killer and found out he still had a partner running around out there I decided to end the night like the show on a suspenseful moment. So I turn off the light, make sure the door is locked, crawl into bed and cuddle down for bed time.

As my little mind starts to sink down into the down comforter of dream land and I am lulled into the peacefulness of Unicorns, Double Rainbows, Gummy bear parades, and happiness everywhere……… I am ripped back into awareness by Police like thumping on my front door. I jolt straight up in bed listening with every nerve ending in my body on full alert!!! Is the knocking coming from the front door or is it coming from inside the garage?!? Wait is that a step on the Stars?!?! What is it???!!!!!! My little eye balls are straining to see into the dark and see if I can see movement at the top of the stairs……..

DARKNESS

What in the world is that terrible noise?!?! Ahh the alarm clock. At some point in my scared alert state my body caved and decided it was bed time after all. I fell asleep sitting up in bed and woke up from a very uncomfortable tipped over position still slightly sitting up. **Sigh** Freedom…….

Reply all.... disaster

So..... I hate t when some "fantastic" person sends out the stupidest email that makes you sit back and re-read the amazingness to make sure you didn't misunderstand them the first time through it. Nope sure did not. So a few people respond and say I agree, or Nice job, or good observation. So one of my friends (brown noser that she is) writes back and say's "I never noticed this, good catch." So as I hit the reply button and with my usual sarcasm in hand say "You can not really think that anything that bitch has to say is really "good" anything especially since you have been bitching about that flaw for two weeks yourself. Do not try and support her ego believe me she is stuck on herself enough that the last thing she needs is your face down by her ass blowing it up like a balloon too dumb ass."

Ok...... so little did I know that I hit the reply to all button and now the entire office knows how I really feel about this one individual, including the girl that I have been playing nice with....... Damn it. Thank you Monday Man. FML....

Lost

I reach out into the dark. My eyes cannot see. My hands do not touch. I sense you out there in the dark. Just beyond my finger tips I know you are there. Can you hear me? Do you see me? Are you reaching out for me too?


Still I reach out. Slowly moving forward. Afraid and alone.... I know you are out there.

Boys.... silly silly boys.....

So, I have no idea why boys think it is so hard to communicate with a girl......... For the most part we are simple to make us happy. Say we are pretty! That will do it, I don't care if my hair looks funny or my eye liner is smeared, ignore it, suck it up and tell me I am pretty dang it. There is a reason not all girls are lesbians... It's because we want a MAN!!! Don't get me wrong little boys are fun to take to the park or the zoo or to laugh at when they are being a big little man if I am babysitting, but I do not want to date the little boy. throwing a hissey fit because YOU didnt get your way...... Not a good idea, sorry. You sir are more of a girl than I am, don't ignore me and then blame me for being insensitive and not checking to make sure you are ok. It is not the way to convince me you are a real man. Jackas...... ok, I admit not all men are this way. You do not need to tell me it is a proven fact that if you are mean to a girl she will do what you want because that is not all girls either, you be mean to me and I am not going to bake you cupcakes to make you nice to me. Throw something at your face maybe..... in fact probably. In short..... or from looking above In rant, Be nice or I wil kick your freaking ass!!!! Thank you,

Warning: Female "stuff" ahead

Ok..... So I am super annoyed today and guess what, I am going to share. So I am kickin it on my morning high singing several musical numbers and doin some high kicks when i get "The feeling." Know what I mean, the "Either i just pee'd my pants or started my period" feeling. Well Thank you Mother Frikin nature!!!!! Thank the Lord I chose the dark jeans today, good thing I caught it early. Crap these were really cute under-roo's and I wonder if that will come out. So here is the shame I know more than likely every girl has had to do.... Super uncomfortable, very embarrassing, and it just feels like EVERYONE knows....... Raise of hands, how many girls have done the folded up make your own pad/tampon to stick into the crevice until you can get to a real one? ** points to self ** this girl right here.