Hockey Eh?

Well that was uncomfortable.... So I had a Dr's appointment the other day..... a FEMALE issues Dr appointment.... long story short (No one that ever says that makes it short) I got my IUD put in! That BULLSHIT hurts people! So not even cool! Bitches lie if they say it didn't! Anyways, I have no idea how we got onto the topic but while the Dr is hands deep into my baby maker we start talking about Hockey and how the puck is hard to follow in a professional game. As we are making awkward conversation and I am going off about how the games are so commercial and all the B.S. calls just make it hard to watch sometimes.

---

So after we wrap things up and as I am leaving the Dr says "Go Kings!" uhhh Say whuuuu? Good thing he didn't say that when working in the basement because I am not good at keeping my mouth shut and might have said some shit about his team...

Lost in space and time....

Wow...2013 to 2015... where did that 2 year gap go? Well I will just give a brief explanation. Health issues, Family Issues, Ups and downs and all arounds.... Dad was diagnosed with cancer and moved in with me. The Family tried really hard to take care of him, support him, Love him, provide comfort and care. Dad died in December, it was a Wednesday morning. The thought of living without my dad was something that I would never be able to live through but here I am. The up side to all of this is that it made it possible for me and the siblings to meet our other brother Joe. We all knew about him but never thought we would ever know anything about him let alone meet him and his amazing family. Life is good. I love you Dad I will always miss you.

Super Heros... Unite!

Comic Con 05/2013

I will admit that this was in fact my 1st attempt to enter the Comic Con world and I was not disappointed. Amid a mass of latex, spray on glitter, stage make up and more I have found an amazing amount of fun!

As I wander through the Expo center and am impressed by the amount of people, costumes, themes, and creativity within the building I am also a little nervous. Thouse of you that know me well know that I am not overly fond of a ton of people in one space. Was this the reason for my concern? No. In fact it was some of the actual costumes. Some people were amazing! Clothes, make up, hair, personality the whole 9 yards was put into the idea behind their get up. Others… well you throw on a t-shirt with a super hero emblem and there is your effort (Raises hand, I totally had on the wonder woman t-shirt). But now I approach my concern……. Looking around the expo center I find a few people alarming…. In fact some of the people it would appear that there is nothing holding together that outfit but a hope and a prayer against the force of gravity and movement! Obviously some people that is totally fine and half the men in the center would not mind for an epic wardrobe malfunction. The others…… I hope to god you used enough glue, tape, double sided sticky tape or whatever is holding it all in.

Dream Land

So...... Anyone that has heard me talk about my dreams knows that my subconsious is less than normal..... See my original blog to compair. In light of this I decided I might as well start to write about some of them.

Big Foot is that you? As I walk through the trees I come to realize that I am hopelessly lost. I know that everyone tells you that when you are lost to just pick a place, cop a squat, and wait til someone finds you but when you are out in the wilds your mind takes over and you think "well I just bet that there is a road, or camp, or trail, just right up here a bit" and then wouldn't you look silly sitting just a few yards away from something hmm? So I keep going. At this point the branches are so think I can choose to windmill my arms and slap them out of my face or just put them up boxer style and plow on through..... ok here we go. ** hop, hop, arms up, and RUN** SLAM I am knocked on my ass by something big and solid. Oh mighty oak tree.... you win. The ground in this part of the ..... what is this? Forest? Woods? Someones Overgrown unkempt back yard? ..... Well it looks comfy enough and it is getting dark. I start to shuffle ferns, and leaves, and other mossy like plants over next to a bush since the wind is starting to pick up a bit. and make myself a nice little nest. As I plunk myself down on my leaves I start to think about all of the little bugs and spiders that will be sharing this with me tonight and can already feel them on my person. Ewwww....... ZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZzZz Whuzzat? As I wake up from my rather sound sleep and whipe the drool from my face I look around in the complete and blinding darkness...... ................ twig snap................. rock roll................ branch break......... wind....... "um.... Hello?" RAAWWWRRRRRR HOOOOWWWWWLLLLLLLL SCARY NOISE RRRAAAWWWWWWRRRRRRRRR ~BLACK~

It is a common tale of tragedy….. Love

A is desperately in love with B. A has been in love with B for years and spends every waking moment thinking of dear dear B. B is best friends with A but is smitten with C. C thinks that B is nice enough but C is head over heels for dangerous D. D likes to live on the edge and is a little unconventional. What no one realizes is that D has a crush on A. Once B realizes this B tries to convince A that D is the perfect match. B tries to push A to try and catch the attention of D so that B will be able to make the move on C once C see’s that D has moved on to someone new. So A loves B. B wants C. C is desperately trying for D and D is interested in A.



Sad sad times indeed for this small group.

Drop it!!!

To all you people that think that Nipple biting is a huge turn on….. Stop it! That thing is not a chew toy and surprise YES it is attached. Here is a hint, just because it gets hard does NOT automatically mean it is a good thing! ~~~Thank you ~~~


So now that the holiday season is over with it is time for me to relive the horror that was the holiday shopping. What happened to the day when we were kids and the rule of “Someone got it first, you find another toy to play with.” The people out there that go all crazy and decide to pepper spray someone over a pair of new shoes I say too much. This is like tickle me Elmo all over again! All in All by this time next year the crap you bought will not matter.
On this note I think I have had an epiphany on the matter. The reason that people get so piss ass drunk for New Years is to get over the Xmas stress that almost made you go crazy. To you people I tip my hat. Also as a tip, set an alarm on your cell phone for 12:15 to call yourself a Taxi, #1 you will be to drunk to remember and #2 It will be such a long wait time that it will get there at the time you are ready to go anyways.

Pet’s the peeve…….

Everyone has their own little pet peeves in the world. I in fact have several of them. How many people hate it when someone chews with their mouth open? Probably the majority of people that chew with it closed. Let’s go over some of the things that make my eye twitch and you can decide just how off I am shall we?

• I hate it when someone chews with their mouth closed but are breathing so heavily through their nose it is amazing they aren’t snotting on their food.
• I hate angry typers. You can pound that keyboard all you want but it is not going to apologize for whatever it is that has you miffed.
• I hate multitaskers in the car. I am sorry you decided to make poor use of your time and assume you can make up for it by just _____ing in your car. (I have literally saved hundreds of lives by NOT slamming on the brakes of my car and causing a huge accident because YOU have no idea what is going on….. You’re Welcome)
• I hate the road blockers in the super market. Why must you place your buggy on one side and then stand in the middle next to it and stare at the canned food items “pretending” that you don’t see me there trying to move past you on my way to my purchase?

These are a few small things that tend to come up on a day to day basis…. Feel free to add any of your own to my list.

Say what you mean…….

Is it really that hard to say what you mean when you are out in the dating world? If you do not think we are compatible then say so, Do NOT go off on a tangent about how much fun you had and how you are looking forward to hanging out with me again and then make up excuses for the next two weeks and then MAGICALLY disappear from the face of the Earth.

Usually I am all for being polite in the face of awkwardness but what is the point of building it up if you know you are not going to follow through with it. Case and point, when you walked me to my car and I said I had a nice time- it was fun and then I left it at that….. There was no reason for you to respond with “Oh it WAS awesome, we should do it again. Next time we will do this and that too!” And then to top it off YOU hugged ME!
You say that you like that I am Sassy but it’s a good thing that I was on my best behavior because I am pretty sure you would not like my full on Sass sir.

To you… I say Good Day.

A Woman Scorned-

**Names have been changed to protect the douche bag.

So we all know that I am an adult and am pretty responsible in most things. I am the stable one, the calm one in an argument. Well I have found that this is not always the case. Piss me off and I piss on you……

So I have been on a few dates and one guy I have seen a couple of times has learned that I am not one to be messed with or in this case jerked around.

I get a call one night from Brad and he asks me if I would like to come over and watch a movie at his house. Sounds good to me, we have been out a couple of times and I have been to his house and it has been a god time all in all. So I get ready to hang out and he calls and said that he needs to push it back an hour because his car had an issue and he wasn’t home yet. Hmmm ok 9pm isn’t to late on a weekend were still good to go. So then 9:30 comes up and he calls and said that he is finally ready and to come on over. Little tired at this point but hey it’s just a movie……

So 10pm I get to his house and when he meets me in the driveway the alcohol on his breath almost knocks me on my ass. Whoa! So we walk to the door and he opens it to go inside and I hear someone banging in the kitchen on the other side and he slams it shut again….. “Do you mind standing here for just one minute real fast?” Um…. Ok anyone else seeing little red flags on this one yet? “Sure” So in he goes and shuts the door in my face. So here I am standing in a dark (no porch light here) stairwell shuffling my feet and getting more and more irritated as the moments tick by.

The door opens and he grabs my hand and pulls me into the house, through the kitchen, down the hall, and into his “area” of the house. I know he has roommates, I have heard the other guys in the house no big deal and his area is almost like a studio apartment. There is a couch and t.v. and coffee table on one end of it and then he has his bed and an end table on the other side with the closet and stuff off to the other with the doorway in the middle. So he shuts the door after me and I walk over and set my purse by the couch and he sigh’s and sits down too. (Ok now he is irritated?! I do not think so.) As I attempt to make small talk and ask how his day was it is clear to me that he is a lot more trashed than I originally thought and this is getting to be ridiculous. I ask to use the ladies room and he jumps up, runs to the door and peeks out into the hall for a moment. As he steps back and opens the door he drops the off handed comment of “My roommate is in his room, make it quick and be quiet.” Ok…. Sonia is pissed.

So I come back to his room from taking my moment in the bathroom to take some deep calming breaths and relax for a moment. Low and behold Brad is slumped on the couch in a drunken stupor and has started the movie. (Kidding? Sure am not) As the movie is droning on and I am lost because I did not see the first five minutes of it so do not know what all the hubbub is all about and Brad boy is drooling on the other side of me the evil thoughts start a brewing…….

Little do any of you know that I did NOT use the ladies room when I stepped away to have a moment and though I do not NEED to go I can if I made the attempt to. So that’s what I did. I have no idea as to what has come over me but I can guarantee that my mother would be shocked and appalled at my lack of lady like behavior.

Right there bold as brass I pulled down my pants, sat on his lap, and pissed on him.

Who in their right mind would treat a girl like a dirty little secret?! I know it happens and all and Hell I have done it myself but Let me tell you that person knows upfront where they sit and what the score is, none of this try and hide it bull. I would like to think that he was traumatized by this and will think twice about how he treats girls but in my mind (and from his text the next morning) I know that he thought he got to drunk and pissed his own pants. I hope that my response of “No that was me” as I hung up on him got my point across.

Little Judging Judy

So I have to laugh at the fact that I drank an entire bottle of rum last night all to myself.

So tonight in the line of my hang over while chowing down on a Taco Bell burrito a car got pulled over right in front of me. My first internal thought was "What a dumbass" (Says the girl that polished off 3 times what it takes for her to get drunk anyways). So as I am sitting here watching this cop talk to these idiots, alert stance he puts his hand to his gun and I am like Oh... my... god.... mouth open, full of half chewed burrito I was like "Dude someone is gunna die Right Meow" (used the kitty in real life lol)

Anyways, long story short girl did NOT pass her little sober Sally test and I have a broken Toe nail that hurts like a bitch and cement burn on her elbow that may and or may not turn into a scar later as yet to be determined.

You’re so vain… I bet you think this Blog is about you.

Bridalplasty………….. Has anyone else seen this show? I will admit that I am vain. I wish my teeth were whiter, I wish my boobs were bigger, I wish, I wish, I wish…… But these girls….. They take it to a whole new level.

This group of soon to be brides are competing to be the perfect bride. Mini challenges make it possible for them to get the chance to nip this, tuck that, remove that, lift those and so on. Now I have to say it is interesting to see these girls all bandaged up from a nose job that has given them two black eyes trying to compete in a taste test to determine who wins the chance to have the next procedure.

I am not here to judge….. My opinion is my own and I am sure you all have your own as well……. The only thing that I am curious about is what will the fiancé think of the after effect?

Books hurt...

I love to get comfortable to read a book….. I don’t really care where I am. So…..
OPEN SCENE: Picture me, laid out in an arm chair one leg tossed up over the arm, swinging my foot, book propped up on my lap curled sideways and loving life. The smell of coffee in the background, some soft elevator music plays off behind me somewhere and the sound of people talking a few rows over…. That’s right. I am reading a book in the book store.
So here I am minding my own business readin a book relaxing and wasting some time when all of the sudden this giant shadow falls across my book and the light has gotten dim. I recline my head back to look up above me and what do I see? The back of a book……. Um. Hello! Personal space man. I reach up with one hand and tap the back of the book. (Not one of my brighter moves) Apparently I surprised the reader so much that he drops the book right on my face. WHAT THE HELL!!! Ouch!
So the tallest man I have ever seen is looking at me like I am the crazy one here as I hold my face and glare up at him from my once comfy spot. This guy has got to be at least 7 feet tall. No wonder he didn’t see me, 1 inch shorter and he would have been able to step OVER me no problem. So I hand him back his book with a dirty look and say ‘Drop something?” So he takes the book and walks away, never says one word to me. What a douche……
Ladies and Gentlemen…… Mr. Mehmet Okur #13 of our Utah Jazz ( he is indeed 7 feet tall).

Freedom!!!!!!!!!

There is nothing like the feeling of living on your own and the freedom of knowing this place is yours and you live alone so you can do whatever you want to in the comfort of your own home. Walking naked from the bathroom to the bedroom makes you giggle because it seems just a little wrong, you can leave the dishes in the sink, you can drop your dirty clothes on the floor and leave them there and if you don’t want to make your bed you don’t have to. J

That being said, I was kicked back last night watching my Law and Order Special Victims unit Marathon on TV when I decided to be an adult and go to bed at a decent hour. So after they caught the bad guy rapist killer and found out he still had a partner running around out there I decided to end the night like the show on a suspenseful moment. So I turn off the light, make sure the door is locked, crawl into bed and cuddle down for bed time.

As my little mind starts to sink down into the down comforter of dream land and I am lulled into the peacefulness of Unicorns, Double Rainbows, Gummy bear parades, and happiness everywhere……… I am ripped back into awareness by Police like thumping on my front door. I jolt straight up in bed listening with every nerve ending in my body on full alert!!! Is the knocking coming from the front door or is it coming from inside the garage?!? Wait is that a step on the Stars?!?! What is it???!!!!!! My little eye balls are straining to see into the dark and see if I can see movement at the top of the stairs……..

DARKNESS

What in the world is that terrible noise?!?! Ahh the alarm clock. At some point in my scared alert state my body caved and decided it was bed time after all. I fell asleep sitting up in bed and woke up from a very uncomfortable tipped over position still slightly sitting up. **Sigh** Freedom…….

Reply all.... disaster

So..... I hate t when some "fantastic" person sends out the stupidest email that makes you sit back and re-read the amazingness to make sure you didn't misunderstand them the first time through it. Nope sure did not. So a few people respond and say I agree, or Nice job, or good observation. So one of my friends (brown noser that she is) writes back and say's "I never noticed this, good catch." So as I hit the reply button and with my usual sarcasm in hand say "You can not really think that anything that bitch has to say is really "good" anything especially since you have been bitching about that flaw for two weeks yourself. Do not try and support her ego believe me she is stuck on herself enough that the last thing she needs is your face down by her ass blowing it up like a balloon too dumb ass."

Ok...... so little did I know that I hit the reply to all button and now the entire office knows how I really feel about this one individual, including the girl that I have been playing nice with....... Damn it. Thank you Monday Man. FML....

Lost

I reach out into the dark. My eyes cannot see. My hands do not touch. I sense you out there in the dark. Just beyond my finger tips I know you are there. Can you hear me? Do you see me? Are you reaching out for me too?


Still I reach out. Slowly moving forward. Afraid and alone.... I know you are out there.

Boys.... silly silly boys.....

So, I have no idea why boys think it is so hard to communicate with a girl......... For the most part we are simple to make us happy. Say we are pretty! That will do it, I don't care if my hair looks funny or my eye liner is smeared, ignore it, suck it up and tell me I am pretty dang it. There is a reason not all girls are lesbians... It's because we want a MAN!!! Don't get me wrong little boys are fun to take to the park or the zoo or to laugh at when they are being a big little man if I am babysitting, but I do not want to date the little boy. throwing a hissey fit because YOU didnt get your way...... Not a good idea, sorry. You sir are more of a girl than I am, don't ignore me and then blame me for being insensitive and not checking to make sure you are ok. It is not the way to convince me you are a real man. Jackas...... ok, I admit not all men are this way. You do not need to tell me it is a proven fact that if you are mean to a girl she will do what you want because that is not all girls either, you be mean to me and I am not going to bake you cupcakes to make you nice to me. Throw something at your face maybe..... in fact probably. In short..... or from looking above In rant, Be nice or I wil kick your freaking ass!!!! Thank you,

Warning: Female "stuff" ahead

Ok..... So I am super annoyed today and guess what, I am going to share. So I am kickin it on my morning high singing several musical numbers and doin some high kicks when i get "The feeling." Know what I mean, the "Either i just pee'd my pants or started my period" feeling. Well Thank you Mother Frikin nature!!!!! Thank the Lord I chose the dark jeans today, good thing I caught it early. Crap these were really cute under-roo's and I wonder if that will come out. So here is the shame I know more than likely every girl has had to do.... Super uncomfortable, very embarrassing, and it just feels like EVERYONE knows....... Raise of hands, how many girls have done the folded up make your own pad/tampon to stick into the crevice until you can get to a real one? ** points to self ** this girl right here.

Raisins

I do not know what it is....... All of the sudden I have become obsessed with this little wrinkled fruit!!! Chock full of iron packed into its loose little folds of skin I find them amazingly delightful. Here are some of my favories:
- Oatmeal raisin cookies
- Carrotcake (its fruit and veggie!)
- Raisin bran cereal
- Oatmeal (this one I was unsure of but it works)
- Trail mix!!!

I have decided that the M&M's company needs to make a candy coated chocolate dipped raisin. *takes a bow* That is all.

So here it is, another day another lunch break I forgot to pack. For those that don’t know there is a Taco Bell across the street that gets a lot of business from the girls in our office that find then selves in this same predicament. So I go next door, I stand in line to get my good ol’ number 6 (Mmm Chicken chalupa, taco, and a Diet Pepsi) and pull out the old debit card, good for every day on the go moments or in my case every time I want to make a purchase. So I get my tray and turn to find a place to park it and eat before the walk back to the office. So as I am walking through the “dining room” a slightly off balance man holding a fishing pole steps in front of me. “Excuse me, I didn’t catch enough fish to eat today, do have some money for me?” Of course I don’t I use plastic for everything and anything. So I open my mouth to apologize by telling him I don’t carry cash. The man looks down slightly sad and starts to turn away. All of the sudden his hand flashes out to Snatch a taco right off of my tray!! Yes sir it is true. I look up in shock to see a homeless man and his fishing pole bookin it through the parking lot clutching my taco as he goes. I didn’t really care about the taco, he obviously needed it much more than I did and half of the time throw it away anyways but how shocking and unexpectedly random is that?!

Que dream sequence......

Nothing for April...... Sorry I was a slacker.

Yeah so I had a dream last night that I was Prego….. like 8 months HUGE!!! And I was watching Victor (my sisters kid reached terrible 2’s this week) and he was throwing a tantrum and rolling around on this Redwood deck patio thing. So there was a hole cut in it where this tree was growing up with like a foot or so of clearance around it and Victor rolled into this hole and under the deck. So all the sudden he stops crying and giggles and I hear this rattle like a rattle snake and then he just starts screaming!!! So I like kick the boards off the patio under carriage part and someone is calling 911, (I dunno who it is, I can just hear them behind me on the phone flippig out). So I pull Victor out and he is crying and hugging me and sayin his little nah nuh thingie ( he calls me na-na like a banana) and the ambulance comes for us and I go into labor holding him. So were in the same hospital room and my sister gets there and I’m having the baby and she’s all talking to victor telling him please don’t die please please, so the Dr. tells her that he will be ok and it looks like a baby snake bit him and the venom wasn’t fully developed and junk and he would be totally fine. So my sister comes running over to me just as they hand me my baby and I start to drop it so she takes it from me and I start having these seizures and junk,
So…….. turns out the big snake bit my hand when I pulled victor out as it was just about to bite him and I died. ….. D-E-D dead. So now my sister has 2 babies.

This is what I get after a lovely dinner of 3 mint Oreos, 1 slice of bologna, 2 dill pickles, and a sugar free Poweraid. I wonder if I totally did the Julia and Julia thing and ate random weird things at bed time I could blog the food induced dreams………….. Good times.